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What is a direct cremation? Everything you need to know about Cremation Without Ceremony

ashes urn with mourners looking on

A direct cremation, sometimes referred to as a 'Cremation Without Ceremony', is for those who would prefer a more simple and less expensive funeral.

Direct cremations are different from traditional funerals as there is no funeral service.

As a direct cremation doesn't involve the full formal funeral service or any pre-funeral events, a lot of the costs associated with a traditional funeral are avoided.

Features of a direct cremation include:

  • The body is cremated immediately after death, so you only need to engage the services of the crematorium rather than a funeral home. This can help you save a significant amount of money.
  • The body will usually be cremated within a simple container rather than a decorative and more expensive casket.
  • As no funeral home will be involved, there is typically no viewing, visitation or wake prior to the cremation ceremony, which also means there are no embalming or other costs associated with the preparation of the body.
  • A quick cremation means you are free to arrange a memorial service at a later date.

Getting the ashes after a direct cremation

The process of receiving the ashes of your loved one following a direct cremation will differ slightly depending on the provider. Usually, there will be several options, such as:

  • Ashes can be collected in person directly from the crematorium – this is typically at least two days after the crematorium, and you will be advised on the time scale at the time of arranging the cremation.
  • The ashes can be delivered directly to you. This can take up to 28 days from the date of the cremation and usually requires an additional fee of around £100.
  • The ashes can be scattered in the crematorium's garden of remembrance or a similar site. This will be an unattended scattering ceremony.

When you have received the ashes, you might consider using a small amount of them for one of our jewellery items. Take a look at what we offer:

How much does a direct cremation cost?

Just like a traditional cremation service, the price you can expect to pay for a direct cremation depends a lot on whereabouts in the country you are.

Funerals are typically more expensive in the South East, and least expensive in the North and in Scotland.

If you choose to arrange a direct cremation with a provider such as the Co-op you can expect to pay anywhere between £900 - £1400. This is slightly more expensive than dealing direct with a crematorium, but the advantage is that your provider will deal with everything for you.

If you do choose a direct cremation provider, make sure you are aware of their terms and conditions before you sign up. For example, you won't be able to choose the crematorium or the time of the ceremony - that will be left for the provider and their chosen crematorium to arrange.

You should also check for any hidden costs. For example, some providers may not include the crematorium fee in their advertised 'fixed price' - which could add as much as £500 to the amount you end up paying. You may also be charged a mileage fee depending on where you live, where the body has to be collected from etc.

Another potential hidden cost is the doctor's fees. Many providers will include these costs in their price, but others may not so make sure you check.

 

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Supporting Your Child with Grief and Loss

grief support for children

If your child has experienced a loss or bereavement, it can be a challenging time for them and the rest of your family. Below we have listed help and advice to help you support your child, and you can also find more information in our Help with Grief guide.

When a family member or close friend passes away, it can affect everyone and it is important to support children during what can be an extremely difficult and confusing time for them. Young children can also experience grief when someone close to them leaves permanently or is absent for a long time. They can also feel bereaved following the death of a pet – which can be a devastating experience for a small child.

A child’s response to grief can depend on a range of factors, such as:

  • How close the child was to the person, and how involved the person was in the child’s life
  • Whether the bereavement was sudden, or expected
  • The circumstances surrounding the death
  • How the rest of the family and wider support network deal with the bereavement – with religion and culture having an impact

The way a child may respond to death can also depend on their age:

Infants and toddlers can feel a loss that affects how they are cared for and their day-to-day routines, which could lead to them becoming more anxious and needy.

Pre-schoolers typically view death as a temporary and reversible condition, much like their favourite cartoon characters who frequently ‘die’ and ‘come back to life’.

From the age of five, children tend to understand the basic facts of death, and that it happens to all living things. They begin to understand that death is a permanent separation and that dead people are no longer around.

Young children often feel that they are the cause of what happens around them, and can subsequently feel responsible for the death e.g. because they were being naughty.

Teenagers understand the concept of death and bereavement much like adults. They are aware of the feelings and grief of others, but will typically struggle to put their own feelings into words. They may also ‘hide’ their feelings so as not to upset others.

Siblings could react very differently to loss. Whereas one sibling may be immediately and openly grieving, another may not show any signs of grief for some time.

What to do to help your child deal with grief

There are a lot of things you can do as a parent to help your child come to terms with bereavement. The following actions can really make a difference:

  • Be honest and open with your child. Explain as well as you can, using age-appropriate language, why the person dies and what it means. We can naturally find it difficult to say the words and tend to use softer expressions like ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘gone to heaven’. Although you feel this may reassure the child, it can also add to the confusion they feel following a bereavement.
  • Try and answer all the questions your child may have about death and loss, even though it is likely to be uncomfortable and even painful for you to do so. It’s OK if you don’t have all the answers (who does!?), so don’t be afraid to say you don’t know.
  • Try to listen and understand how your child is feeling. If you sense they blame themselves, reassure them that it is not their fault.
  • Reassure your child that you are always there for them, in case they are worried about being left alone or abandoned.
  • Don’t be afraid to show and express your own feelings and emotions. By showing your own grief you can encourage your child to be more open about how they are feeling.
  • Sometimes a child can ‘forget’ that a person has passed away and believe they are still alive. This is normal in the first few days and weeks following a bereavement, but if it persists beyond that you should seek counselling support.
  • One of the best ways to help your child come to terms with a bereavement is to prepare them for the changes they may face as a result. Losing a loved one can have a dramatic effect on the child’s routine and structure, so reassure them about what will stay the same and what will change.
  • Talk to your child about how they would like to say ‘goodbye’, such as lighting a candle, letting off balloons, writing a letter, making a memory box and so on. This can help give the child a sense of control and ownership of the situation, as well as helping them verbalise their feelings.
  • Take care of yourself. Although you will feel the well-being of your child or children is your priority, it is important to also make time for yourself to grieve your loss. The better you look after yourself, the better you will be able to support your child.
  • Take care of yourself. Allow yourself time and space to grieve for your own loss. The more you look after yourself, the better able you will be to support your child.

Warning signs to look out for

Everyone deals with grief differently, and you may find your children deal with it in their own special way. There is no right or wrong way to deal with and come to terms with a bereavement, but if you are worried about your child in any way you should seek help from your GP as the first point of contact.

Some warning signs to look out for include:

  • A long period of sadness or depression
  • Reduced interest in daily activities
  • Withdrawing from friends
  • Inability to sleep, loss of appetite, fear of being alone
  • A sharp drop in school performance
  • Acting like a much younger child for a long time
  • Denial about the death
  • Imitating the dead person all the time
  • Talking repeatedly about wanting to join the dead person

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Funeral poems – find inspiration with our list of poems for funerals

ashes urn with mourners looking on

If you are looking for the perfect verse or poem to read at a funeral, hopefully our collection of funeral poems below will help.

As well as popular poems, we have listed poems suitable for reading at a parents, grandparents, sibling or friends funeral.

If there's any other great poems that we have missed out, please feel free to share them in the comments and we will add them to our list.

See our unique range of ashes jewellery made to display cremation ashes in the setting.

General funeral poems

For those looking for inspiration for the perfect poem to read at a funeral, the below poems are great choices for all circumstances.

Funeral poems for dad

The following memorial poems are all suitable for those who are doing a reading at their father's funeral.

Funeral poems for mum

These remembrance poems and verses are ideal if you are doing a reading at your mother's funeral.

Funeral poems for grandparents

The following memorial poems are ideal if you are doing a reading at a grandmother or grandfather's funeral.

Funeral poems for a brother

If you are doing a reading for a brother that has passed away, the following funeral poems are ideal for capturing that special bond between siblings.

Funeral poems for a sister

The following poems are suitable if you are doing a reading at a sisters funeral.

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Help with grief – a complete guide to finding bereavement help and advice

broken heart grieving

Coping with the loss of a loved one can be hard, but you don't have to go through it alone.

Bereavement affects us all at some point and has a significant impact on our lives.

A common feeling for people who are grieving is that they have no-one to talk to who understands what they are going through. However, there are a lot of organisations, charities, websites and podcasts that can help you in some way try to come to terms with your loss.

Below we have listed the places you can seek help and advice with the grieving process. If we have missed out a source of help that you think should be included in our list please let us know in the comments at the bottom.

Bereavement charities and organisations

Websites and blogs about grief

Below we have listed some of the best websites and blogs that deal with grief.

These websites can offer help and support, as well as provide useful resources and guides, offer communities where you can meet and talk to other bereaved people and more.

What's Your Grief

What's Your Grief

https://whatsyourgrief.com/

What's Your Grief is a website full of guides and resources about living with grief.

It was founded by two mental health professionals who both experienced grief, and were struck by the lack of quality content online to help them.

What's Your Grief's mission is to promote grief education, exploration, and expression in both practical and creative ways. We aim to provide the public with…

  • Education that reaches beyond generalization
  • Practical and specific suggestions for moving forward
  • Modes of self-exploration and self-expression that suit all types of thinkers and doers
  • Ways to honour and remember deceased loved ones
  • A supportive community
Love Lives On

Love Lives On

https://www.loveliveson.com/

Love Lives On has an extensive library of resources to help with grief.

It has a wealth of useful information about everything from planning a funeral to how to express grief and how to talk to children about grief.

Love Lives On also features a huge directory of local businesses that offer products and services to help with the grieving and healing process.

Modern Loss

Modern Loss

https://modernloss.com/

Modern Loss offers a more candid and frank approach to grief and, in their own words, "is a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death."

At Modern Loss you will find:

  • Essays from those who have experienced all kinds of loss
  • Resources—from probating a will to respectfully getting your loved one #off social media
  • Creative ideas for exploring your own loss
  • Links to relevant articles about thriving in the face of grief
  • News about projects we think you’ll love
  • Ways to connect with other people who just “get” it
Your Tribute

Your Tribute

http://www.yourtribute.com/

Your Tribute is a service that allows people to make personalised tribute website to commemorate and celebrate the life of a loved one.

Families can create a free online obituary or premium memorial website for a loved one in minutes.

Your Tribute also hosts a wealth of resources and material to help those dealing with a bereavement.

Grief In Common

Grief In Common

https://www.griefincommon.com/

Grief In Common is an online community designed to connect those who are grieving based on background and similar experiences for chats and opportunities to meet in person.

Whatever your loss, whatever your experience, wherever you live - there is someone here who understands.

Users can create their own profile on Grief In Common and then interact with other users on the forums.

Grieving.com

Grieving.com

https://forums.grieving.com/

If you want to chat about your grief, or even help others and hear their experiences, Grieving.com is a network of forums to help you.

This online community is there to offer support and guidance, or just listen to your story.

From quick, anonymous chats to different clubs focused on different aspects of grief, Grieving.com offers a lot of help to those dealing with loss.

Grief and Sympathy website

Grief and Sympathy

https://www.griefandsympathy.com/

Grief and Sympathy is a simple website that offers a host of advice, help and guidance when it comes to navigating and dealing with grief.

Just about every aspect of grief is covered, along with links to where you can find more help and information.

Still Standing Magazine

Still Standing Magazine

https://stillstandingmag.com/

Still Standing Magazine was founded in 2012 and shares stories from around the world of writers surviving the aftermath of loss - and features information on how others can help.

The focus of Still Standing Magazine includes:

  • Giving a voice to grief and trauma that comes with loss and infertility
  • Connecting people around the world who have had similar life experiences
  • Becoming a resource for friends, family, and medical professionals so they know how to support someone enduring child loss and/or infertility
Mindfulness and Grief

Mindfulness and Grief Training Institute

https://mindfulnessandgrief.com/

This website runs an online Grief Meditation Group, teaching mindfulness and meditation as a way to help the bereaved.

It may not be everyone, but many people find this approach a good way to come to terms with the loss of a loved one.

 

Podcasts about grief

Podcasts can be a great comfort for people dealing with loss, as they provide a chance to hear new perspectives on grief.

There are several popular podcasts that focus on grief, which we have identified below.

Griefcast with Cariad Lloyd

Griefcast with Cariad LLoyd

https://play.acast.com/s/griefcast

Comedian, actress and writer Cariad Lloyd invites fellow comedians and celebrities to talk about grief, and how it has affected them personally.

As well as often being a frank and candid discussion about grief, Griefcast is a funny and enlightening podcast that helps just by knowing there are others out there dealing with similar problems.

Grief Out Loud

Grief Out Loud

https://play.acast.com/s/deardougypodcastconversationsaboutgriefandloss

Hosted by Jana DeCristofaro and produced by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families in Oregon, US - Grief Out Loud is a mix of personal stories, tips for supporting children, teens, and yourself, and interviews with bereavement professionals.

It's focus is on encouraging people to open up and talk about grief, rather than holding it in and trying to deal with it on your own.

Grief Works podcast

Grief Works

https://play.acast.com/s/griefworks

Grief Works is hosted by specialist grief psychotherapist Julia Samuel, who has over 25 years experience of working with the bereaved.

Grief Works is focussed on stories from those who have experienced great love and loss – and survived.

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Creative ways to display your treasured photos

We’ve all got lots of photographs. Whether they are golden oldies stuffed in a box in the loft, or more recent ones posted in the digital world. But how many time have you said “Oh I must get this one framed?”

If you’re anything like us, then lots of times! But we’ve just never get round to it. Also, there’s only so many photo frames you can have before your shelves and sideboards start to look a little cluttered!

Whether old or new, photographs are memories. And whether these memories make you smile, laugh or cry, it’s nice to have them around your home.

We’ve put together this list of creative ways for you to display your photos. So fish some oldies out, get some newbies printed and get DIY-ing!

Transfer your photos on to wood

 

Continue reading Creative ways to display your treasured photos

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A Complete Guide to the Cremation Process

 

When a loved one passes away, organising the funeral and memorial service can be difficult to face.  However, you’ll want to take a variety of factors into account, such as the deceased person’s wishes as well as financial concerns.

Cremation is an increasingly common choice, but it can be helpful to learn more about the process involved before making a final decision.

Continue reading A Complete Guide to the Cremation Process

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How to write an obituary

 

Writing an obituary can be an important part of saying goodbye to a friend or loved one, but it can also feel like a tremendous pressure to do justice to their memory.

The best obituaries are honest, celebratory and memorable, touching on those aspects of your loved one’s life that will strike a chord with all who knew them.

The following tips and advice can give you somewhere to start and help you get your thoughts down on paper.

Continue reading How to write an obituary

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A Guide To Grief

 

Losing a loved one can be an extremely difficult time. We all go through a grieving process and are all affected by grief in different ways. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. It is said that those who are grieving should try and realise that it is a natural thing and something that cannot be controlled.

Continue reading A Guide To Grief